It is well know that stress is the culprit of many unhealthy conditions, as is depression (even in a non-clinical undiagnosed form). The loneliness epidemic that millions of people are experiencing these days has led to an increase in mental and physical health conditions, something that baffles me: there are so many of us in this world, and often times we are so close to each other, and yet the loneliness is there, and in some cases, getting worse.

I believe trying to figure out why this is happening is complex and in a way , controversial, and I am no expert in human behavior, but what I do know for a fact, is that the younger generations ( I am currently 52) have a rather different way of communicating with each other than I personally did when I was a kid and even an adolescent.

As much as my kids will hate me for saying this, technology plays a huge roll in these changing patterns of communication and behavior. Today I find myself texting my kids to ask what they want for dinner, or who wants to go to the movies! We as parents (some of us at least) can easily fall into that same “new way” of communication. Same goes for discipline, my Mom and Dad would yell at me when I misbehaved – or missed my curfew as a teenager, in person, no notes or letters or calls – 3 pm or 3am, it didn’t matter. These different ways of expressing ourselves and communicating with each other today have lead to a discomfort or awkwardness -for lack of better words- when it comes to wanting to talk face to face with a friend, coworker or your own kid…or even worse, your partner/spouse.

Looking back, I think of my generation (80s and 90s kids) and remember how we had to say things (verbally most of the time). Things that were hard, or embarrassing or sad. Or even being mean to a friend, you were mean to their face. Along with those face to face conversations was bravery in some degree, but also the empathy we learned by looking at the face or the receiving end of our words. It was clear when someone was being nice, or mean, or mocking you or truly admiring you. Today, I find that it can be hard (or impossible sometimes) to read peoples tones or intentions in a text or email. Younger kids can get confused with what they read: blurred lines between sarcasm, jokes, honesty or true words being read in a text.

I have never stopped encouraging my kids to talk to people, to call, not text. To visit, to plan lunches / dinners with people they care for or might need a friend when going through tough times, but I can tell sometimes it uncomfortable for them…or like they’d say “that’s weird Mom”.

I don’t believe Technology is the only contributor to this new way of communicating (or not communicating); our lifestyles and often too rushed. I know I am not alone when I say there are days when I feel like a mouse on a spinning wheel; always running: work! work! work!… to payout mortgages and bills, to offer our children a comfortable life -as best as we can- and if we are lucky, afford a trip every now and then. But it never ends, it can easily become our “normal” and we only come to an occasional stop when we realize we are tired of the spinning wheel and desperately need a break. This unhealthy lifestyle can also contribute to isolation, when what we could really use, is a friend. A friend we can talk to, not text. A hug, a listening ear. But we find ourselves so tired of running, that we refuse to find time for it.

Everyday, I find myself more overwhelmed with so many apps and chats that I need to catch up with to learn about what is going on; and here’s the not-so-fun thing: if you do decide to unplug for a while and disconnect yourself form all of it, you will -for sure- miss out on information as serious as…your friend’s mom died. Last month this happened to me. I called a friend to say hello, and 3 weeks had passed since her Mom died: I was completely clueless. “I posted it on Facebook”-she said. (like I said before….the new normal)

So, I guess they key is…find the sweet spot, the balance where you can have face to face conversations with your kids and friends and keep up with Technology as well.

I have high hopes that when our future generations are overwhelmed with what my Chiropractic calls “text neck” and “texting thumb” pain (yes, it’s a thing) , at least in the social arena, we will slowly revert to calling our loved ones more often. Maybe then, some of this loneliness epidemic will be a thing of the past.

For now….I will say this: a text can’t replace a call, where you can share laughter and emotions, and sometimes, that’s exactly what we need.

I would love to know your thoughts on this, so feel free to leave me a note on how you feel about this.