I closed my eyes tonight and remembered so clearly when my son was around 2 or 3.
I’d fill the tub with soapy warm water…I can still remember the scent of the water.

Bath time was a time of playing with bath toys…of making silly hairstyles with foam and water. Of chatting non stop about the ‘why this’ and ‘why that’. Long simple conversations with the occasional cute grammar mistakes.

When it was time to get out…I’d get the cute towels with the hooded corner wrap around his head…with embroidered ducks or bears….or whales.

I remember Enya or something relaxing playing in the background, while I got him dry and dressed warmly in a onesie or a cute themed pajama set.
I would brush his thick hair and part it perfectly on one side.

Bed time stories were just as precious. Weather it was the Magic Tree house series (we read all 40+ books) or Frog and Toad; all those adventures we read together were like the magical part of the day.
My husband and I would take turns between him and our daughter…so we would have that special time…one on one with both kids separately.

One time, my son got in trouble and his consequence was…he would have to read to himself that night.
It hurt me more than him as I really treasured those evenings.

As I walked past his room to read to his sister, he looked at me with begging eyes and said
..”will you read to me mama?”

Tonight I am in bed, reading a book as these memories come flooding back. What triggered them? I don’t know…but I feel as if I close me eyes and remember, then those days won’t seem like they are drifting farther and farther as time goes by, everyday seeming more blurry and distant…because that hurts.

Just as clearly I remember when my daughter was under a year old and at night I would breast feed her in her small cozy room with dimmed lights and calm classical music, in my rocking chair we would look at each other right in the eyes, while she fed.
I also remember the smell of her baby clothes, and baby lotion and the warm feeling of her tiny hands on my chest. How her eyelids would start slowly closing with the rocking motion and a full belly, happily drifting into sleep.

Many times I could have just put her down in her crib…but I’d hold her longer and rocked her gently some more, just enjoying her small sounds and her baby scent…her tiny hand wrapped around my thumb or index….thinking “I wish I could freeze this moment forever “.

Being a mother can be hard, exhausting, heartbreaking sometimes. Specially when children are young. But every single hug and kiss and word of admiration for you as a mom, cannot be replaced with anything in this world and makes everything worth it.
To see your children grow up into the unique beautiful persons they become and if you are lucky, to see a little bit (or a lot) of yourself in them is a wonderful and beautiful thing.

In my case, with my kids being teenagers now, it has made me remember how tough being a teenager can be: the workloads at school, the friendship troubles, the hormones raging, the feelings of loneliness, the sense of being misunderstood by your parents.
Being a mom -for me- has been about being there for them in these hard times, giving them love, hugs and kisses (if they let me!) always reminding them they are a very important part of our family. And also admiring and appreciating them each in their own very different skills, personalities and needs. And understanding that what makes me happy is not always what makes them happy. (This was a tough one for me.)

This last year, went even faster than the one before, and apparently, with age, we feel time goes by faster, so I am trying hard to appreciate and enjoy every single moment, conversation, joke, meal with them, while I have the opportunity to do so.

The kids and my husband ask me what I want to do for Mothers day, and it is so simple. I just want to be with them. Brunches and flowers and chocolate are nice, but it is my children’s’ smiles, hugs and love and the random help in the kitchen or laundry that makes me feel like a million dollars.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone reading this. To all the moms, you are wonderful just for being a mom! May your kids appreciate you not just on Sunday, but every day you are together!