I lay awake in bed, very, very awake.
A little voice inside my head says: go back to sleep, it is dark outside, dark = sleep), yet my brain is already steps ahead of the little voice. Like sitting in a movie theatre watching previews for a dozen upcoming productions. Way too fast, a lot of information, glimpses here and there of what represents a longer story.
Laundry…need to finish. Gym, I need to get up early otherwise I will not go at all. Thanksgiving, what to make, I really wish Turkey wasn’t the central dish on both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Where was the hearty steak, or a salmon filet or a juicy seabass when these traditions started? Is there a chance that will ever change? Can we just establish a new trend in dishes within our family? Once we had Japanese for Christmas Eve dinner, at a Teppan Grill Restaurant. It was quite a success. A juicy Filet Mignon cooked in front of you with an entertainer for a cook puts turkey to shame.
Next…work, need to finish a report that is due very soon, which format to use to make it user friendly. The heater, do we need new filters? Winter is fast approaching- I sure don’t want to breath dust the first days we use it- yuk!
I look at the clock again, 5 minutes have passed. So I try hard again, closing my eyes tight (otherwise they pop open)…then…my stream of thoughts resume: my son’s pet lizard, it is not eating enough, or not eating at all. Despite the fact that I am not exactly attached to the reptile, it would break my heart to see his broken if it dies or gets severely sick. Need to call the Reptile store lady. Milk, we are out of milk!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the stores we go to is open 24 hrs. Should I put on some sweat pants and go? That would be crazy. The guy at the register would give me a strange look, but I could throw some Ibuprofen in there and then it would look like a midnight emergency and we will all have a happy breakfast, with milk.
I look at the clock again, another five minutes have passed. I start getting grumpy because I can’t stop. Daylight savings was more than three weeks ago, so what is wrong? Well, I don’t really know. All I know is that when I was in my teens and twenties I slept like a bear during hibernation. Nothing would wake me up. As the years have passed and even more after I had the kids, anything, literally anything will wake me up. The sounds of the house creaking, my daughter talking (or singing) in her sleep, a water faucet dripping downstairs, a cell phone vibrating many feet away from me.
So in my insomnia I thought, wouldn’t it be perfect to have a power switch where I could put my brain to sleep, like the sleep mode on a TV or computer. Of course it would have to be a programmed mode for a healthy number of hours, like 6 or 7, otherwise who would turn it back on? This would do wonders for kids too. You turn off their switch for a good 10 hours of sleep. Oh! The joy that moms would get with newborns sleeping through the night.
Despite the frustration that this insomnia brings, I have to say that some great ideas and answers to puzzles or problems I have had at work have been solved during these early hours. Maybe I am in creative mode at night. The days are too busy sometimes to even dare be creative or resourceful..
Taking sleeping pills is a solution I don’t like abusing but it does the job- quite well actually. Exercising more would help too, if only I could get up at 5 am more often after a good nights’ sleep…that I don’t get. I need to break the cycle and have a healthier night…and day. Just writing about it makes me more aware of the need to have more discipline. It has been said, written and researched that lack of sleep has many negative consequences. Everything from bad temper, less energy, medical problems, wrinkles and dark circles and overall a shorter life span.
I intend not to wait for 2015 to better myself in this respect. Change is now! 🙂 The power switch is not feasible, but the lifestyle change is. I will start with the little details that make a difference.
This coming week: more exercise !