Zooming out again for the E.T. View (Extra-terrestrial View)…
I am happy to report that my commute to work, slowly but surely went back (almost) to what it used to be. I re-engaged in checking out Audio Books from the San Diego Central Library to enjoy while I drive. I don’t quite enjoy being on the phone as much anymore – or yet- because my Dad had that special place in my Samsung 7 during my commute. So I opt for listening to my choice of Audio Book of the week and -on occasion- the depressing news.
Just a couple of days ago, I took a moment to catch up with the news on the one and only station a can tolerate KPBS (Public Radio). I ended up listening to a very controversial situation that has been going on for almost a year, and apparently, States cannot agree on and keep approving then banning laws:
Plainly said: where should transgender people pee.
Since I have been listening to this issue for months, and after watching the movie The Danish Girl , my views have been affected and somewhat swayed towards empathy , I could not help but tune out the details and zoom out several thousand miles to outer space and see us, -again- as a foreigner.
In this state of mind- as a foreign unearthly being- I often find myself trying to understand (not very successfully) the human kind. I not stating that all issues related to the LGBT community are minor or blown out of proportion. They can be in some instances, but generally speaking I agree that they are matters that affect thousands of people, where not only feelings, but human rights are involved.
In this state of mind I remember and analyze all that has happened from the times of slavery, the European “Conquistadores” abusing and wiping out entire communities of natives, Hitler’s abominable “cleansing” of the population, the never ending religious wars in the middle east that nowadays are felt more closely, courtesy of our current President.
It all seems so pointless, hurtful and unproductive and yet, these events have cost millions of dollars and millions of lives throughout several centuries. Most definitely these wars and disagreements will never ever end. The only thing that will change is the means with which different groups/communities or governments react and handle these matters. So I listened for a good 30 minutes about the “bathroom ban” in Texas, the different reactions from different states, different School Districts, all from my ET standpoint and I almost laughed. WHERE TO PEE? I do not mean to sound insulting, but I just don’t get all the drama.
People just want privacy I assume, so how is having someone that crossed/changed into your same gender an invasion of privacy or a threat while using the restroom? No one is asking for empathy or even support for this community. They just want to use the restroom in the room where they identify with, period.
The irony of all this is that right after the whole Bathroom Ban segment, another one came about Immigrants officially considered refugees. The hell they are going through with all new laws and travel bans. The types of horrible crimes and abuses they face in their countries of origin. After being absolutely disgusted with as much news as I could take, I turned to music and kept thinking: there are people fighting for their lives, fleeing their lands, leaving everything behind looking for safety and a better life for their little ones, and here we are in the US arguing where the transgender people should pee.
That evening after getting home, I realized we had serious bathroom problems in my own home, because just a week ago we got a tiny puppy, just 8 weeks ago that is trying to understand were to pee and….well everything. She has decided to go wherever she pleases so my son – the official owner- spends half the time with paper towels and odor-neutralizing spray chasing after her.
Everything is relative I suppose…even bathroom problems.
My mother is turning 70 in a couple of days, so my siblings and I are all flying down to be with her and celebrate in a small party with her closest friends. It might be hard for her, for all of us, to not have my Dad with us in this time of celebrating life.
I had a dream last night that he called me and explained in a clear and calm voice why he should be there, at the party, and I was thrilled to know he’d be there. I envisioned him in his black suit and a tie greeting all the ladies and standing close to my mom. He looked so handsome and young, and…he smelled so good. I remember that in my dream.
My Dad was a bit addicted to showers and cologne, so those elements remain even in my dreams. I am nervous, a bit, of what feelings might take over me, but this time I will just let them take me without fear of crying, as I did on my last trip. Maybe it will be nothing but joyful. We will see.