I try not to write product reviews soon after using a new item, but instead I usually wait a few weeks or months after the “shiny new toy” feeling passes. Then I write an honest and objective review. Same now, with my Empty Nesting experience, I want to share it a full school year after it all started back in August 2025.

Close friends of mine who have sent their kids to college to the East Coast, or other towns where a visit is too long of a drive, have experienced some serious emptiness in their “nests”; I have seen them cry, vent, feel nostalgic or just plain miserable. I am happy to report, that is not my case. The fact that both kids chose campuses that are less than a 2 Hour Drive has made a huge difference in the way I feel, every single day. A weekend visit is a possibility, a surprise visit too. Theatre tickets as an excuse to go see them? Of course! Why not?

But it is a feeling that is lingering, it floats in the air of our home, it’s like a sweet possibility and yet, sometimes a full month or two (and that is a stretch) can pass without seeing neither of them. I have finally learned to shop for two and cook for two, but it took me months. Just today I went to Trader Joes, and I stood there in front of the dozen choices of apple varieties an presentations; I realized, rather sadly, that I am not the mom that buys the bag with 8 apples anymore. I bought three. For dinner, today I thawed 3 chicken thighs, and roasted one potato…ONE POTATO! Cubed and seasoned so it looked like more, but I have never in my married years cooked one potato!

I have to admit, the feeling of cooking just enough and having no leftovers can feel damn good; it is like a culinary accomplishment for me.

During the school year that just ended, both kids lived in apartments with their own kitchens; it felt nice to get their calls in the beginning, asking for cooking directions or ideas or even to listen to them vent about studying, preparing for exams, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry…wondering…How are they supposed to do it all? And of course, how to manage a monthly budget.

All my nagging about not leaving dirty dishes in the sink here at home (I used to leave them Post It notes next do the sink “NO DIRTY DISHES HERE”) served its purpose. They learned and became responsible adults that respect other’s spaces and called home more than once to complain that “…their roommates where leaving dirty dishes in the sink!” Mission accomplished…

My son decided to adopt a cat and take it with him to his new place and has served as a companion in more ways that any of us thought. Needless to say, the cat and our dog, do NOT get along, and I am a more of a dog person, so the cat and I keep our distance and don’t even bother with pleasantries. He loves destroying my plants so every time he visits, me bedroom turns into a nursery, where my plants are safe.

Whenever they visited for a weekend, I did love and enjoy the sounds and scents of their presence. My son’s cologne, his many many “Mom, did you know that…”- like when he was younger, except now he is sharing all this newfound ideologies and concepts from College Classes. My daughter’s zillion hair skin and hair products that make her leave a floral trail wherever she walks into. Her soft singing and humming that can be heard through her bedroom wall. Her laugh.

Those weekends visits filled me with happiness and a honest desire to be at their service- which they kindly declined saying…”Mom , you are not our servant”. Little do they know that making them even just breakfast made me feel so good as a mom again, and found it so obviously (to me) caring and loving. But they have slowly learned to have their own space and I can tell I could easily overwhelm them with my need to embrace them: kisses and hugs and my eternal “so tell me….how is….(this or that)”. So, reluctantly, I have learned to take (a few) steps back.

They have both been through rough patches with school work load, loneliness, homesickness and just plain exhaustion. And they know I am always here for them, just a call (or video call!) away. We are lucky -us living in this day and age-, with so much technology available to us, to be present and help them when they need us.

My life hasn’t really changed much. I have been seeing friends more often; I like planning activities and staying busy, but I can just as well stay in and binge a new show with my fury princess by my lap or read a book. I have also found it easier to exercise more and cook whatever I need to comply with somewhat new diet I am trying to follow.

Going through menopause hasn’t been as bad as some friends have had it, but I did notice that my body was growing and re-distributing its weight in places that are totally not ok. It feels at times like there is some invisible body designer out there making decisions on what you are going to look like, no questions asked or approvals requested; all while sending hot flash waves randomly, day and night.

So this year, I decided to have a say in this menopause business and work diligently against the invisible body designer that was making me feel so unhappy for a couple of years now. I sought advise from a good friend that is an expert in wellness and nutrition AND menopause, and learned to move, eat and think differently. As of today, I have lost 12 pounds, but more than the weight, I am trying to build muscle, since women my age tend to loose it, and fast. My kids, who are both very disciplined when they have a goal (diet or exercise specially), have been important and helpful cheering me on and giving me complements while navigating this road that feels like swimming against the current.

The dreaded Empty Nest can make you feel old; walking your ageing dog to a park were you once used to take your little ones can also do that. Buying 3 apples and cooking a single potato….yup, it does that too.

What can we do? Stay young as much as possible! Stay active, go out, meditate, keep a gratitude journal, seek friends, strengthen friend an family bonds, learn a new skill (or go back to one you loved). In my case, all these things are what keeps me going: strong, proud and happy to see the results of many years of upbringing: fighting with the kids over house rules, patience when I wanted to pull my hair out, tears out of hurt and frustration when they where teenagers. Yes, there will be tough days too when you miss them like hell and wonder: where did the time go? But time is here, it is now, in every morning we are lucky to wake up and get out of bed, in every minute of our conversations, or problem solving, every minute of listening to a friend in need of our ears.

Empty nest or not, I am trying to enjoy this time, because it is a gift. Tomorrow, June 8th will be a thing of the past. Today, I reached out to whoever is reading this and I am feeling good about it. I have a lot to learn still from this experience but I am determined to make it good, positive and even fun!