The summer of 2019 my husband drove us to a car dealer to look for an SUV. I was at an all time high of being a Soccer Mom – without the soccer, but Dance and Drama instead (as for the Drama part…both kinds: the performing arts and the teenage one).

I had sworn I’d never be the Van or SUV type of Mom that spends a ridiculous amount of precious time shuffling kids around town and occasionally eating lunch or dinner on the go. But I did; that summer I got my first SUV and realized how much more comfortable we all were, and how much easier it was to get in and out of the car was for me. I was unaware that when you suffer from lower back pain, a low seating Sedan can be torture at times. Carpooling became easy and fun. I enjoyed playing the music my kids (and their friends) liked, singing along and listening to their lively conversations. My daughter, being involved in Performing arts since age 3 ,has always had afternoon classes, performance rehearsals and other afternoon activities. I soon realized that, unless the kids are driving themselves, it becomes part of your lifestyle too. Specially considering that we live 7 miles away from town, where asking for a ride or for someone to pick my kids up has always been out of the question.

So I spent the next 3 years doing a lot of that: juggling driving, my job, dinner, help with homework, etc I have to say, this would have been nearly impossible without my husband’s help, who jumped in to help with all of these responsibilities. (Kudos to single moms / dads)

Looking back, I actually enjoyed it. Not only the trips in town, but dozens of day trips we did to the beach, to visit Museums in LA, Theme parks, San Diego, Broadway Musicals in Orange County, hiking on the beautiful mountains in our area.

When kids turn into tweens and teenagers, they need (or demand?) more privacy and space. Their bedroom doors are almost permanently closed and they don’t want you near if they are on the phone with friends (Facetiming, that is- because today, phone conversations are weird). So those rides became priceless to me -they still are, where we’re all stuck in the car for a while and talk to one another, listen to what they like, share stories, catch up on what’s going on in their heads, with their friends, classes, etc. Almost like dinner time conversation.

Today, exactly 5 years after we bought that SUV, my daughter left our driveway with 3 of her childhood friends, to embark on an 8 day Road trip to Northern and Central California; my little dancer…behind the wheel.

I stood on the driveway and watched them leave just a few minutes ago; I am still processing all the “Firsts” that 2024 has brought and will still deliver later on. And although I try to remind myself that watching our kids grow, learning hard life lessons along the way, reaching more milestones, becoming more and more independent is a GOOD THING, there is still that crushed little piece of my heart that wishes I could go back and see their bouncy little heads in the rearview mirror; have all those conversations with mispronounced words without correcting them.

For my daughter in particular, in 2024 she got to see Europe for the first time, she is taking her first road trip with friends, and hopefully, her first time reading the Propositions and Candidate’s plans and vote on November! Also, her first time living somewhere else other than home, because in only 3 weeks, she is moving out to attend College.

Also, the first time she actually watches the Olympics, from the incredibly beautiful opening ceremony in Paris, to different sports that we have been streaming together. Watching her watching the games, made me realize that when kids practice a sport, any sport (presently or in the past) they have a greater appreciation for what athletes go through to become an Olympian athlete: what they endure, and the tremendous amount of dedication, work and sacrifices it takes just to qualify.

This has been a year of “Firsts” for me too: First time I have a High School student go through the whole ceremony of become a graduate. I grew up in Mexico, where graduating from High School means the same as graduation from Middle school: not much. It’s just expected. But for reasons I do not comprehend, HS graduation in the US is a huge, huge deal. Kids get money, gift cards, presents, trips. They throw parties and attend lots of parties. Parents make “Announcement Cards” (like an Engagement to marry!) Mail them out to pretty much everyone you’d send a Christmas card to. All of this, all of it, was new to me – and uncomfortable at times- specially all that exchange of money and gift cards. But in an effort to adapt and learn the ‘American Way’, I complied and did what most families did. Except…..the lei! I absolutely refused to spend money on beautiful flowers made into a necklace that is meant to be worn for an hour, then shrivel up and die. I asked my daughter what the deal was with the Lei, and she said ” It’s a tradition and it looks nice”. Well, that didn’t make the cut, and she was totally fine with it. If she ever reads this…I don’t want her to feel guilty, so I am just going to say: it seems like schools make a lot of money with all the Seniors graduating. It is excessive and unnecessary and I felt bad for many families going through financial hardships that can’t afford these things, starting with Prom.

Graduation was a very emotional day, watching her and her childhood friends wearing their cap and gown and my daughter walking to the podium to get her certificate.

Prom is a whole other story, emotional as well. The venue was out of town, so I helped coordinate the Party Bus; I remember the day after, when my daughter showed me some pictures and I saw all the kids in the bus standing, with neon lights, holding on to some poles, and I asked her…”You were not seating down? It was a 90 minute ride!!” She laughed and said….”Mom, it’s a Party Bus….you dance and have fun. Did you think we were going to be seating with our seat belts on?” I said…”well…yes!” Clearly, I have never been in a party bus. My friends and I have rented out limos in Wine Country; we listen to music and sing and drink … seated. Jeez, I feel old.

Back to the Road Trip situation, the kids are camping most nights which means two things: driving on mountain ranges and bears. My husband says I am afraid of everything, that I might as well just stay home to be safe. Which is an funny exaggeration but I get his point. Being the apprehensive mom that I can be, I found it hard to sleep last night, thinking of all the what ifs. So this morning I told myself: “I need to trust them, I need to think of all the unbelievable and memorable days they will share and remember forever”.

I will be praying for them all week and try not to be glued to my phone watching her location on Life 360. The Olympic games should get me distracted enough. And when they return, God willing, I will just start all over again, preparing myself for August 22, when she officially moves out and spends her fist night at the her dorm.

They say life is a cycle, and I think it has smaller cycles within; some get easier to go through, and some not so much. But in the end, all of them teach us something. So, here’s to keep living and learning!

CHS Class of June 2024 > CSULB Class of 2028